Sunday, February 3, 2008

An American Taste

We the people here in the great US of A have a seemingly different view of the world than any of our foreign brothers. Canada doesn't quite count, seeing how it is exactly like America, only more of a pussy and less awesome. And Mexico gave us tacos, so they are spared. (The following is totally racist and meant to offend you. Don't say I didn't warn you.)

Here's most likely what us Americans think of your countries.

Let's talk about Europe.
I'm of German and Italian descent.
Not to say those countries are without fault, if you remember back to the 40s.
Neither Germany nor Italy was too nice back then. But Italy gives us food and Germany gives us some beer.

Ever have a better food than Italian food? Hell no. And the women there are fine as hell. But they're also European pussies. And Germany is boring and angry. Everything there is gray and bleak. And I've never been, but I assume everyone screams at you in German, a language I happen to know all too well. It's angry even when saying "I Love You" being Ich Liebe Dich. Sounds alot like "Lick dick"over there.

The English.
We kicked their ass.
They drink tea and eat crumpets.
WHAT THE FUCK IS A CRUMPET?
I bet it's for sissies.


Russia was and still is full of Commies.
'Nuff said.


Korea too.
The bad one.

Egypt has pyramids and nothing else.

Scotland is fucking awesome and they had Braveheart.
Ireland is less awesome and they have bar fights and Catholics. (Like me, I add.)


Spain gave us Mexico who gave us Tacos. Thank you Spain.



JAPAN IS GOD OF ALL COUNTRIES.
They have video games and hot women.
And women's underwear vending machines.
And Tokyo Drift, son!


Australia is full of Kangaroos, Spiders, and Dead TV stars.


China is big and has too many god damn Chinese people.

Finally, Sweden, Finland, Norway, Iceland, Greenland, and Newfoundland are all the same country.


I hope you see the world through an American's eyes now.


-Mac

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